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Showing posts from January, 2023

Do werewolves like metal?

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For sure they do. I know loads of werewolves, and every single one of them just loves metal. They love bands like Wolfsbane and Leatherwolf, and they listen to songs like Run With the Wolf and Master of the Moon. Sometimes, they even form metal bands of their own, and they always do a super-heavy version of Duran Duran’s Hungry Like The Wolf. Sometimes, they even go to metal concerts, but here’s the thing. As we all know, metal fans aren’t like their image, they’re all decent people, and it’s the same for metal werewolves. So when they go to metal gigs, they never show up if there’s a full moon, and there are three reasons for that. Firstly, it would take the attention away from the band onstage, secondly, it might scare the audience, and thirdly, they’d be on a real guilt trip if they actually ate a fellow metal fan. So there you have it, werewolves exist, and they love metal. If you want any more proof, the metal band Lycanthrope actually get a mention in Cold Steel on the Rocks , so...

Download It's Not For Everyone for free

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Rick Brindle's hard-hitting memoir,  It's Not For Everyone  is free to download to your Kindle for a limited time. Get your free copy now. What do you do when your dream job turns into a nightmare? Rick Brindle was a third generation military child. His father and grandfather served their whole lives in the Army, and all he wanted to do was join up. But for Rick it was more than just the job. Growing up on Army estates in Germany, he wanted to keep hold of the sheltered lifestyle that he’d enjoyed all through his childhood. Having left school, and after three years of trying and failing to become an officer in the Army, Rick was still determined to pursue a career in the armed forces. So in 1989 he joined the RAF Regiment as an Airman. Life in the Regiment, though, was a world apart from being a forces dependent, and Rick’s dream quickly became toxic. Facing a culture of bullying, beatings, verbal abuse and sexual harassment, the privileged community he wanted to be a part of ...

How do dragons breathe fire?

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It’s a little known fact, but dragons are actually alcoholics. And I mean serious, raging booze-hounds. They’re absolutely wasted from the second they get up to the second they collapse into a drunken stupor. They think nothing of downing a whole hogshead of brandy before then eating an actual hog’s head. Because they’re so permanently and utterly intoxicated, their oral cavities are constantly reeking of volatile, flammable alcohol fumes, and it’s this, combined with their brimstone-based bone structure and internal pyroclastic conflagrator that allows them to breathe fire. As long as they’re jacked up on loopy-juice they can pretty much breathe fire anytime they want, sometimes from their mouths, sometimes from their noses. Studies have been done which suggest that nose-based fire breathing is confined to the breeding season. But, if you’re fed up reading a load of old tosh about drunk dragons, check out Cold Steel. Cold Steel on the Rocks We Are Cold Steel Cold Steel and the Undergr...

Who is the best NWOBHM band?

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For me, there is no question, it's  Saxon, every time. Saxon! Saxon! SAXON!  I love ‘em! I got into them in the mid-eighties and it’s never stopped, man! And why should it either, because let me tell you, Saxon are the real deal, they’re the cat’s arse, they’re the dog’s bollocks! If you want to know who the real champions of the New Wave Of British Heavy Metal (super-cool abbreviation, NWOBHM) are, then you’d better believe it’s the boys from Barnsley every time. Iron who? They’re number two! The fact is, for me, I just got them straight away. The first Saxon album I listened to was Denim and Leather, and it was one awesome piece of Brit metal, and it's still awesomer than anything else you’ll hear. It’s got catchy, foot-tapping, headbanging riffs and solos all over it. Princess of the Night is still played at EVERY Saxon concert, and you’ll probably hear one or two more played as well. And sure, they’ve had their ups and downs over years, but haven’t we all. They are the one...

Cold Steel and the Underground Boneyard advertised in SFX Magazine

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Cold Steel and the Underground Boneyard , the third book in the Cold Steel trilogy, is advertised in this month's SFX Magazine. Their new album has just been released. Their previously cancelled Spanish tour dates have been rearranged, with the female trio and Spain’s biggest metal band, Damas Infernales, supporting. Cold Steel’s biggest asset though, is Johnny Faslane, their brutally talented manager. But even Johnny can’t fully eliminate Cold Steel’s innate ability to spectacularly destroy their prospects, and even before their second concert ends, the tour is scrapped after an ill-advised trip back to the eighties, and the band are put into creative deep freeze by their record company. Only an unprecedented event and a lot of money can possibly turn their fortunes around. Like a five hundred year old treasure hoard that a long dead pirate once offered in return for his life, treasure that has never been found. Cold Steel find a vital clue that gives them a head start in the sear...

The stupidest lyrics in rock 'n' roll history

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You don't have to go far to find songs with really stupid lyrics, but you know what, that doesn't mean the song is bad. So here's three songs that I really like, even if the lyrics are absolutely bonkers. In third place, Ca Plane Pour Moi, by Plastic Bertrand, and even when you translate the lyrics, they’re stupid. But it’s a great song. Plastic Bertrand - Ca Plane Pour Moi In second place, Mama Weer all Crazee Now, by Slade. Also a great song. Slade - Mama Weer All Crazee Now And the winner is Metal Health, by Quiet Riot, with the dumbest lyrics ever, but it’s an amazing song. I love it! Quiet Riot - Metal Health Cold Steel on the Rocks We Are Cold Steel Cold Steel and the Underground Boneyard It's Not For Everyone

When metal did charity

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Metal's never really had a good reputation, and sure, a lot of it is probably self-created, part of the image, but the metal community really showed its true colours back  in 1985, with a project called Hear ’n' Aid. If you’re a Brit, you’ll know all about Band Aid, and if you’re American, you’ll know all about USA for Africa. Well, Hear ’n’ Aid was a heavy metal version of the same thing, a bunch of musicians coming together to sing a song for famine relief. The metal version was called Stars, and I’m here to tell you that it’s a great tune, with some amazing lyrics, singing and guitar solos. If you were a big hitter in metal in the mid 80’s, you were in Hear ’n’ Aid. They did an album, they filmed the recording sessions, and it was all done to raise money for famine aid. Hear 'n' Aid - Stars Cold Steel on the Rocks We Are Cold Steel Cold Steel and the Underground Boneyard It's Not For Everyone

Code reds

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‘Code reds’ as they were described in A Few Good Men, happened a lot in my unit, the RAF Regiment, back in the 1990’s. I don’t know if it still goes on, but the recent mortar tube event suggests it does. On my particular squadron there were initiation ceremonies, there was bullying, there was sexual harassment and assault. The chain of command knew about it, because they saw it, and they did nothing about it. Going outside the chain probably wouldn’t have made much difference, either. The establishment would have closed ranks and defended itself. And as for any poor bastard that tried to expose it, sure they’d be posted out, but the story would follow them, and a discreet ‘drying room party’ would probably seal their fate. At best, a kicking. At worst, hospital. So lets be clear, hazing, as the Americans call it, really sucks. None of it is good, and quite frankly, if you do it, support it, turn a blind eye to it, you should be kicked out of the forces. No debate, no questions. It'...

Abba? Metal? You know it!

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  What can you say about Abba that hasn't already been said? I grew up in the seventies and I can tell you that they were an absolute phenomenon. Everybody loved them, and with good reason: they were simply amazing. They were the ultimate band in the seventies, they were  proper, real musicians, and their songs were created with absolute genius. They were all musicians before becoming a band, and they had masses of talent. They spawned two super-cool films with actors singing their songs, although the sequel was always going to be the weaker one. And now, in the twenties, decades after they were at their height, they made a comeback and sold truckloads of albums. So if anyone thinks it's un-cool to like Abba, I'm here to tell you that none of the above is anything to be ashamed of. But let me tell you this. While they absolutely deserve every one of their pop music accolades, I can also tell you that Abba are  the best ever heavy metal band, they just didn't know it! I’...

Loving my Squier

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  If you want to learn the guitar, then you really don't want to spaff hundreds of quid against the wall, only to find out it's not for you. Entry level guitars are a great way to answer that question without putting too much skin in the game. And for me, that meant a Squier. I actually had one years and years ago, but I didn't have the stamina to stick with the learning. So this time around, when my partner said she'd get me a guitar for Christmas, a Squier was the ideal choice.  I got my left handed Affinity Strat, and it felt great, played great, but I have to confess, I didn't actually know very much about pickups, and the clear chimey sounds from the strat didn't quite match my love of metal and rock. I needed humbuckers for the overdrive and distortion that fitted the songs I was slowly learning to play. Now, I know that you can be a rock god with single coil pickups, but as my name isn't  Ritchie Blackmore, Yngwie Malmsteen or Jimi Hendrix, legend in ...