How do dragons breathe fire?

It’s a little known fact, but dragons are actually alcoholics. And I mean serious, raging booze-hounds. They’re absolutely wasted from the second they get up to the second they collapse into a drunken stupor. They think nothing of downing a whole hogshead of brandy before then eating an actual hog’s head. Because they’re so permanently and utterly intoxicated, their oral cavities are constantly reeking of volatile, flammable alcohol fumes, and it’s this, combined with their brimstone-based bone structure and internal pyroclastic conflagrator that allows them to breathe fire. As long as they’re jacked up on loopy-juice they can pretty much breathe fire anytime they want, sometimes from their mouths, sometimes from their noses. Studies have been done which suggest that nose-based fire breathing is confined to the breeding season.

But, if you’re fed up reading a load of old tosh about drunk dragons, check out Cold Steel.

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